The Lure of Comparison

Okay, I know you aren't supposed to compare kids to each other, and definitely never ever say out loud "why can't you be more like...." but, as these are my first kids, and they are exactly the same age, I DO find myself marveling at the developmental inequities between both my kids, and even their singleton cousin H, who was born a week later. (He was a week late, mine were a week early...I consider them all the same age.) I've heard there are differences between girls and boys at this age, and that girls are often a bit ahead...but Josie is almost literally running circles around August. She's got teeth numbers 5 and 6 popping through, (his 2nd looks like a little rice grain on his gums right now) and yesterday she *stood up* in the middle of the room - not holding on to anything - for a good 7 or 8 seconds, grinning wildly, before plopping down on her butt. She's practically walking! A is cruising, and pretty good with balance, but not really close to this. We just got a video this week of H starting to crawl, so that underlines the wide range at this age. She seems to do everything at lightning speed, whether it's sleeping through the night, (she's done it a couple times - he has never even come close.) smiling, rolling over, crawling, babbling, clapping, etc...and little man gets around to whatever it is in his own time, usually a couple weeks later. It's a bit sad because instead of enjoying the wonder of his development I'm always thinking to myself, "Ok...Josephine did it, now when are you going to do it?"  I know intellectually that he's not "slow" by any measure, it's just that having J around makes him "slowER." I wish I could help from comparing them at all! Are your twins or kids developing at vastly different rates? Does anyone have tricks to keep from comparing or worrying that one is slower?

1 comment:

  1. There's no getting around it--even though we know we shouldn't we always compare. Mine are 2.5 years apart, and I sometimes find myself thinking, "Ok, now when Emma was Jack's age, she was ..." I am glad that I have one of each gender, though, because in my mind boys and girls are so different that even when I start making comparisons, I don't let those comparisons bother me since boys and girls are supposed to be different. In the end, I think your best bet is to remind yourself that God made us each unique and special, so it doesn't really matter when we reach milestones--we've all got our own path. Cheers!